Flipping through old news stories today, I realized just what a tragedy it is that, in a world where people scream against placing the blame on rape victims and demand equal treatment for men and women without any form of double standard, many rape victims are ridiculed and stigmatized for what they endured - simply because they are male. There is something unspeakably wrong when a 19 year old man is raped - not sexually assaulted, as the law books insist is the term, but raped - by four women in the backseat of a car, and the wide-spread twitter response is how “lucky” the victim was, or how stupid he was for not fighting back, or at least getting the perps’ phone numbers. Even more sickening was the 1970’s court case involving a young mormon missionary, who was kidnapped at gunpoint by a former Miss Wyoming beauty queen and her hulking “body guard”, driven to a remote farm, chained spread-eagled to a bed, and raped repeatedly by the woman for a duration of three days. When she was finally arrested, instead of being subject to the same outrage and disgust as a male perpetrator of the same crime, the woman was glorified by the press as a sexy “femme fatale” and trotted out by her defense attorney while on bail, during which period she became a national celebrity and attended various “red carpet” events. No thought was given to the surely traumatized victim, who, aside from having to watch his rapist receive accolades from the public, was stigmatized by his faith for having premarital sex. When the perpetrator was finally sentenced, she received only a year in prison, even after having skipped bail and fled the country with her co-conspirator.
Men do not “always want sex.” An erection does not imply consent, or even arousal. If someone tickles you, you will laugh, regardless of whether or not you enjoyed it.
If anyone on twitter made a joke about how the victim should have gotten the rapist’s phone number in a case involving a female victim, they would be flooded with hate messages, not receive additional “LOL”s.
Rape culture and victim blaming is real. But until we extend the same defense to both genders, all our preaching against the legal system and society really mean nothing.
Rape is rape.